If All I Had Was…
Some people have much. Some people have little. The widow woman with the mite gave all she had. People who have been blessed with much give more but it doesn’t seem like much of a sacrifice. They don’t really seem to be affected by it either way but what about the others that don’t have much to give? What about those that deep down want to give but can’t? Then we ought to give what we have to give. God gave all he had. He gave His love. He gave His son Jesus. He gave us His Spirit. So, we too, ought to give that which the Lord desires, our all. If all you had was love would you give it? If all you had was a testimony would you give it? If all you had was a praise would you do it? If all you had was a worship would you do it? If all you had was a prayer…and with the privilege of being at the feet of Jesus would you pour expensive oils upon Him? Would you wash His feet and dry them with your hair? What would you do at His feet? Would you surrender completely? Would you allow Him to glorify Himself completely in you? If all you had was Jesus would you tell someone….would you let His testimony reign in you?
-A God Chaser

​Fear of Not Being Good Enough
I thought I was fine. I thought that if I worked hard and applied myself things would work out. I was quiet, shy, and didn’t have any confidants. I acknowledged the Lord but my faith was interrupted by a stepdad that couldn’t keep his hands to himself. I was convinced in my head to keep my mouth shut cause mom didn’t care anyway (that’s what I told myself). My stepdad would get frustrated with me and tell me that I was nothing. Not only did he say it, but the enemy also convinced me to keep replaying it in my head and I told myself that I needed to prove them wrong I had these high standards that I set for myself. It seemed as if I wasn’t good enough. The Lord wouldn’t allow those things to happen if I was good enough, I thought. I thought I would be closer to my mom if I was good enough. I thought they wouldn’t be so hard to please if I was good enough. But little did I know that it wasn’t supposed to be about me being good enough for Christ, it was about Him being good enough for me. His love was always there. He was always there. I just needed to pray and surrender completely. I didn’t know to cry out to the Lord. I didn’t know that He was in the details at the time. I just felt the loneliness and like there was no one to talk to. The Lord allowed me to feel this way in the hopes that I would call on His name. I should’ve called on His name but it was easier to wallow in self-pity and entertain thoughts of foolishness towards myself. The enemy desired to stiff me and to overwhelm me with self- hate so that I would destroy myself. Yet, the Lord wants us to prosper and be in good health. He wants us to experience the fullness of His joy. When the Lord came into my life and made a personal introduction I was astonished. I was in love. I was excited. I was healed instantly of so many things. I still held onto low self-confidence. I couldn’t understand how He could love a wretch like me when so many folks said I would be nothing and hoped that I would be nothing. My, how deep His love ran for me to pick me up and pull me out of the miry clay. This birthed a passionate pursuit of the face of God. To chase after His Spirit with the hope of being completely apprehended. The fear of not being good enough still plagued me subconsciously. I didn’t trust my own self. I often wondered if I was one of the ones He would destroy. He spoke warnings and I would think there was such a sense of urgency to get the Word to the people of God. I tried to help the Lord to His job instead of allowing the Lord to completely increase and myself completely decreasing. The lord must do the work. We must do our job. Man cannot do the job of the Spirit. The flesh must die so the Spirit will not be grieved or quenched. Then the increase starts to spring forth. You don’t have to you’re not good enough if the Lord is good enough for you. He is our righteousness. He is our Holiness. He is our exceedingly great reward and we are His. When we recognize this then perfect love casts out all fear and we cling hold to that which is good.

• A God Chaser