Passionate Pursuit...Friendly Reminder

​WE MUST MAINTAIN THE JOY OF THE LORD! DO NOT STOP PRAISING...DO NOT STOP WORSHIPPING!

I didn't know what joy was until I learned to surrender all. I have sung the song...but when I went through
what I had known to be tribulation, I had no clue what true joy in Jesus really was. I thought I knew what
surrender was. I though I knew what letting go was. I had to convince numerous times that I had to let
go...I had given everything to the Lord Jesus, I had laid every burden and care at the alter. However, there
was a part of me that was refusing to die. I had made myself a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable unto
God, daily. I would relinquish a whole lot, but one little piece I kept to myself without realizing it; control.
I claimed that Jesus Christ was my savior. I claimed that He was my refuge, he had given me His Holy
Spirit. I prayed prayers in faith stating that I wanted the Lord to lead and guide me. He would “drive” for
a while, but when I really had to trust and travel into uncharted territory, I would grab a hold of my life
again. I laid it at the alter, and then I picked it back up. It wasn't until in the midst of my trial that I
realized I'm but a vapor in time. Jesus, you are the author and finisher of my faith. I had to stop playing
the role of the fixer. I had to let my own will die and carry that cross, as heavy as it was.
Growing up, I would would often watch and observe things going on around me...the good, the bad, the
wrongs, and the rights. Then my heart would lead me to want to find a way to help or “fix” things. I
became a way of life. Then one day the Lord stepped in and changed my perspective of things.
I mentioned earlier a testimony of surrender when I was in the military and how the Lord began to “tear
down” my flesh and build me up spiritually in Him. Well, during that time I had two young children. I
was threatened with a divorce and a battle for custody with my children. At the time, I was devastated. It
seemed my whole life that was just getting started was coming to an end. I went to church. I prayed. I
received counseling. I pulled out every “natural” weapon I had to fight. I got an attorney. I wrote letters to
multiple judges, and in the natural court, it seemed as if I had lost. I was up against someone who had
more rank and He seemed to present a more solid case of stability. During that appointed time I had to
choose whether I would relinquish everything to the Lord and trust him completely or continue to play the
role as the fixer and keep coming short time and time again. Trusting Him wasn't logical and couldn't be. I
couldn't come up with some strategic plan of action and follow through. I had to leave everything and
follow Him.
My life as I knew it was in the shambles. It had been completely torn apart. However, the voice of the
Lord said, “seek me.” So my heart sought the Lord and kept seeking for His Spirit to reign.
JOHN 15:16
YE HAVE NOT CHOSEN ME, BUT I HAVE CHOSEN YOU, AND ORDAINED YOU, THAT YOU
SHOULD GO AND BRING FORTH FRUIT, AND THAT YOUR FRUIT SHOULD REMAIN: THAT
WHATSOEVER YE SHALL ASK OF THE FATHER IN MY NAME, HE MAY GIVE IT YOU.
I DIDN'T CHOOSE THE LORD JESUS, He chose me. He gave me the choice after making His. He said
I was the apple of His eye. When I made the decision to surrender, He began to shift things and pour of
His Holy Spirit ad fill all of the emptiness that resulted from my true surrender.
One evening after reading my word, I had gone to sleep. In the whee hours of the night I was awakened

by an angel. The angel didn't speak a message with words, but with a spirit of laughter. There was a joy-
filled laughter and I couldn't stop laughing. It was like I understood in the Spirit that I would overcome.

Then I started to clap my hands and began praising the Lord, Though I couldn't see a positive way through
my circumstance, the Lord sen the spirit of joy to get me through that appointed time of elevation in Him.
It is hard to describe in words the death of “self” when you're going through circumstances and there is no
clear path to take. The straight and narrow that leads to righteousness is rarely the first choice, but leads
and guides us by His Spirit to deny ourselves and follow Him. I had to grasp the meaning of what that
joy-filled laughter meant. Death and life were present. Death of the “old man” known as self and life as a
new creature in Christ began to emerge.
Gal 2:19-20
FOR I THROUGH THE LAW AM DEAD TO THE LAW, THAT I MIGHT LIVE UNTO GOD.

I AM CRUCIFIED WITH CHRIST: NEVERTHELESS I LIVE; YET NOT I, BUT CHRIST LIVETH IN
ME: AND THE LIFE WHICH I NOW LIVE IN THE FLESH I LIVE BY THE FAITH OF THE SON OF
GOD WHO LOVED ME, AND GAVE HIMSELF FOR ME.