POWER OF GOD UNVEILED...A TESTIMONY OF JOY

I didn't know what joy was until I learned to surrender all. I have sung the song...but when I went through what I had known to be tribulation, I had no clue what true joy in Jesus really was. I thought I knew what surrender was. I though I knew what letting go was. I had to convince numerous times that I had to let go...I had given everything to the Lord Jesus, I had laid every burden and care at the altar. However, there was a part of me that was refusing to die. I had made myself a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable unto God, daily. I would relinquish a whole lot, but one little piece I kept to myself without realizing it; control.
I claimed that Jesus Christ was my savior. I claimed that He was my refuge, he had given me His Holy Spirit. I prayed prayers in faith stating that I wanted the Lord to lead and guide me. He would “drive” for a while, but when I really had to trust and travel into uncharted territory, I would grab a hold of my life again. I laid it at the altar, and then I picked it back up. It wasn't until in the midst of my trial that I realized I'm but a vapor in time. Jesus, you are the author and finisher of my faith. I had to stop playing the role of the fixer. I had to let my own will die and carry that cross, as heavy as it was.
Growing up, I would often watch and observe things going on around me...the good, the bad, the wrongs, and the rights. Then my heart would lead me to want to find a way to help or “fix” things. I became a way of life. Then  one day the Lord stepped in and changed my perspective of things.
I mentioned earlier a testimony of surrender when I was in the military and how the Lord began to “tear down” my flesh and build me up spiritually in Him. Well, during that time I had two young children. I was threatened with a divorce and a battle for custody with my children. At the time, I was devastated. It seemed my whole life that was just getting started was coming to an end. I went to church. I prayed. I received counseling. I pulled out every “natural” weapon I had to fight. I got an attorney. I wrote letters to multiple judges, and in the natural court, it seemed as if I had lost. I was up against someone who had more rank and He seemed to present a more solid case of stability. During that appointed time I had to choose whether I would relinquish everything to the Lord and trust him completely or continue to play the role as the fixer and keep coming short time and time again. Trusting Him wasn't logical and couldn't be. I couldn't come up with some strategic plan of action and follow through. I had to leave everything and follow Him.
My life as I knew it was in the shambles. It had been completely torn apart. However, the voice of the Lord said, “seek me.” So my heart sought the Lord and kept seeking for His Spirit to reign.
JOHN 15:16
YE HAVE NOT CHOSEN ME, BUT I HAVE CHOSEN YOU, AND ORDAINED YOU, THAT YOU SHOULD GO AND BRING FORTH FRUIT, AND THAT YOUR FRUIT SHOULD REMAIN: THAT WHATSOEVER YE SHALL ASK OF THE FATHER IN MY NAME, HE MAY GIVE IT YOU.
I DIDN'T CHOOSE THE LORD JESUS, He chose me. He gave me the choice after making His. He said I was the apple of His eye. When I made the decision to surrender, He began to shift things and pour of His Holy Spirit and fill all of the emptiness that resulted from my true surrender.
One evening after reading my word, I had gone to sleep. In the whee hours of the night I was awakened  by an angel. The angel didn't speak a message with words, but with a spirit of laughter. There was a joy-filled laughter and I couldn't stop laughing. It was like I understood in the Spirit that I would overcome. Then I started to clap my hands and began praising the Lord, Though I couldn't see a positive way through my circumstance, the Lord sent the spirit of joy to get me through that appointed time of elevation in Him. It is hard to describe in words the death of “self” when you're going through circumstances and there is no clear path to take. The straight and narrow that leads to righteousness is rarely the first choice, but leads and guides us by His Spirit to deny ourselves and follow Him. I had to grasp the meaning of what that joy-filled laughter meant. Death and life were present. Death of the “old man” known as self and life as a new creature in Christ began to emerge.
Gal 2:19-20
FOR I THROUGH THE LAW AM DEAD TO THE LAW, THAT I MIGHT LIVE UNTO GOD.
I AM CRUCIFIED WITH CHRIST: NEVERTHELESS I LIVE; YET NOT I,BUT CHRIST LIVETH IN ME: AND THE LIFE WHICH I NOW LIVE IN THE FLESH I LIVE BY THE FAITH OF THE SON OF GOD WHO LOVED ME, AND GAVE HIMSELF FOR ME.
So, then a joy was birthed in me that said to live is Christ and to die is gain. I had to be content with the Lord's will. That joy said I fear the Lord. That joy said He is the first and the last, the beginning and the end. Allowing the Holy Spirit to reign completely is when I was able to encounter the fullness of His joy.
The Lord Jesus Christ makes it clear that we didn't choose him first, but He chose us, and if He chose us then He qualifies us or equips us for the mission that He chose us to accomplish in Him. Then, the Lord states that He desires by having chosen us that we should bear much fruit and that our fruit should remain.
There is a lot of revelation in that one particular scripture. One revelation is that He gives us everything we need to accomplish what He ordained us to do. First, Let me say that I communicate a lot with people in  my line of work and while having general conversation, people have made mention that though they may be gainfully employed, they don't like several aspects of their job.
No matter what job or assignment I've been on, I've found some things that I didn't look forward to throughout the course of my shift or even when I was going through training for the role I was to operate in. However, I must admit that I often had the tools to accomplish the task whether I like the job or not.
When I was a mortgage loan officer, we would come in to the office every morning. I knew O had phone calls to make and leads to obtain. Although, some of the people I worked with, I could do without their personality or characteristics.
When I was in basic training in the US military, I was equipped with everything I needed to complete my training and yet I must admit that the physical training was challenging and several mornings I wished there was a way to avoid going. Nonetheless, the result that we hoped for regardless of what job was that I would bear fruits of righteousness. The goal for mortgages is that the people and families would be places in homes and for the military it was train to be an EMT, which would in turn bring forth healing and deliverance (spiritually as well as naturally), when soldiers were injured in the line of duty. Though these things mentioned were natural duties, there is a spiritual revelation. Things may seem natural, but everything has a spiritual design by the Lord.
We have natural appointments and spiritual callings of the Most High, and He always equips us for the task. There are many challenges, tests, trials, but all have been allowed to bring us to our expected end build us up on our Most Holy Faith in the Lord Jesus.